Kissing in Kollarky

Clodagh O’Brien gently leads his daughter to a small grey rock protrusion in the grounds of Kollarky Castle in County Gerlaty, Ireland.

This is the famous Kollarky kissing stone and its magical properties are legendary across Ireland and in the Irish diaspora. Legend states that “they who kisseth the kissing stone, the stone will kiss them.” In this quid quo pro story, the kisser is promised to become pregnant within the year, unless “a leap year be twain the months and sun shall shine in March season bright.”

The origins of the stone are unknown, although geologists have found only one other match for the type and qualities of the Lollarky stone – the great retaining wall of the Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem.

(You can’t get pregnant by kissing the rival Blarney Stone)

In early Irish texts, the famous non-illuminated manuscript Coileach Agus Tarbh written by St. Clannad, 621AD, reports how a wench from a local village became depressed as she was “without child” and got exceedingly drunk “’till she were unable to stand.”

The men of her village watched as she fell to her knees and ‘kissed’ the Killarky Stone and lay there “arse in t’air fawr everyman to spye, till night were gone and sun rose high.”

Nine months to the day she became pregnant.

The story spread like wild fire and women flocked from all over Ireland, got drunk and assumed, blind drunk, the position kissing the stone, many becoming pregnant.

Dr. Sean Flattley O’Ferral, head gynecologist of St Patrick’s University, County Letterkelly, has studied the stone for the last 15 years. He is more than convinced of the stones magical properties.

“The concept of immaculate conception is well-documented in Catholicism. Why can’t we extend the concept to a magical stone?”

Today, the stone draws huge crowds of locals and tourists. The Irish Relics Authority (IRA) charged with protecting Ireland’s holy and magical places is worried the stone will literally be kissed to nothing and tourists should be aware that kissing the stone is only possible between the hours of 9am to 11:30 every other day of the week.

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