The Middle of Nowhere – Tarawa

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If you want to get away from it all, apart from fish, why not join our upcoming tour of the Tarawa atoll right in the heart of the Pacific Ocean on the equator itself.

We depart November 16 from Hawaii, with all-expense spared vacation of a lifetime you’ll want to forget pretty soon.

You can already download the application form for the 38 shots you’ll need to get before setting off on the arduous journey to the capital of the Republic of Kiribati.

One of the world’s poorest countries, which is still struggling to defeat the spread of some of the worst diseases, is a great vacation if you want to avoid junk food, fast cars, great TV shows and all those other trappings of the modern age.

As we don’t trust local airline companies we’ll be leasing a jet that will make the 2,394-mile journey from Honolulu to Tarawa. We are still working out the logistics of getting such a large plane to land on such a short runway. But you leave that to us.

We hope you like fish.

We hope you really like fish.

And coconuts.

The place is stunning, although it’s taken a while to train local men not to defecate along the copious waterlines. With education there are fewer diapers floating in the waters of the lagoon and Pacific. So that’s a good thing isn’t it?

Look – this is all about cultures right? You may turn your nose up at these islanders and their backwards ways – but let’s face it, at least they don’t while away their time watching reality TV.

Woops. Sorry. Got distracted with another of my rants.

Back to the tour.

It’s a stunning place for a tan. All year round. That’s the great thing about the equator. 100 degrees every day.

By the way, those stories about the cannibals on Tarawa – that happened 600 years ago. We think.

If you suffer from agoraphobia this might not be the trip for you. It’s very outdoors and far from anywhere. Really.

Prices start at $7,000 from Hawaii and that INCLUDES all the fishy-coconut meals you could possibly want to eat. Ever.

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