Following the Cocaine Road

Cocaine or coke (the drug not the drink) is a highly potent, addictive, illegal, potentially deadly, class A drug. It’s so dangerous you can only by small amounts at a time. Its also very expensive making it a luxury item. You’ll need a good credit card and a hundred dollar bill to actually use it, so it’s really only accessible for the 1%.

Having said that, people who are interested in cocaine, its origins, production, distribution and use can join one of the numerous ‘drug runs’ available taking in Colombia and the United States or a European destination of your choice.

We chose the famous Cocaine Road which runs from Colombia to San Diego. Our story starts in Colombia. There are daily flights from most countries direct to Columbia. On arrival in the capital city Bogota, look for trains or buses to Nariño. It’s a 15 hour journey south so take a good book, mints, a blanket and maybe some cigarettes. We suggest you hide all valuables especially money and your passport well. Do not talk to anyone and do not sleep. The scenery is spectacular.

A rep will meet you as you alight at Nariño’s capital city San Juan de Pasto and you will taken by SUV to the cocoa plantations to start your tour. Only use transport provided by the Black Eagles with whom we have a special relationship. We cannot guarantee your safety with other groups vying for your business.

Photography is not allowed, please do not try to take a sneaky pic, you may be shot by security. The cocaine market is highly competitive and highly secretive. They take this very seriously.

You will see how the cocoa leaves are harvested and processed eventually producing the raw ingredients that will one day end up on American street corners. Visiting the main packaging facility, every effort is made in cleanliness and hygiene. You will be issued a mask and white coat. The powdery white cocaine looks so inviting and it’s hard not to dip you finger in. In fact I would have but a security guard took out a knife and threatened to cut it off and stuff it up my nose. “Not very hygienic,” I thought.

The cocaine is carefully weighed and wrapped in plastic to keep it fresh on its long journey to the US. If only cocoa leaves could talk, what a story they would tell.

Our tour moved from processing to packaging and finally to delivery.

This is the main distribution hub where our friends the, Black Eagles, are responsible for making sure they satisfy the high demand for cocaine in the US. It should be pointed out that in a spirit of fairness the USA is divided into sectors with each delivery group being responsible to satisfy the need.

There are various ways you can continue the tour and watch them deliver the ‘goods’. You can take an exciting tunnel ride, run the gauntlet by the border fence or, if you don’t want to deliver cocaine then, most excitingly, they will offer to rent you a car and pay you to deliver pizza or coffee across the border to experience their other businesses. Finally you can volunteer to be a ‘mule’ and walk across the border with five condoms full of coke up you ass. We decided to stay away from the drugs and do the coffee and pizza run.

We were given directions, a list of very strict instructions and some money for sundry expenses.

We were flown from Colombia to a small airfield near the Mexican-U.S. border. There was a car waiting for us. I have to say throughout our adventure the service was impeccable.

It was a thrilling ride. The plane journey was amazing with the most stunning views of forests and mountainous landscapes. The drive through in Mexico to the border was very interesting and we got to see how the poorer population lives, quite distressing at times. We wanted to give some of our money to some small street urchins but our instructions forbade us. As we neared the border we were advised to keep the coffee and pizza locked in a lead box to keep it fresh, as the wait at the border could take some time. If the border guard asked to look in the box we were to give him Envelope A which contained a donation to his retirement fund which we were delighted to hand over. Helping law enforcement is a very noble and praiseworthy act. If the border guard looked unsatisfied we were to offer him Envelope B. The final instruction was not to open the actual coffee or pizza but to deliver it sealed to the address we had.

Finally, we  reached the U.S. side of the border and excitedly we made our way to San Diego and delivered our cargo. Our contact there gave us $5,000 and we sped off to catch a flight home.

I would highly recommend this tour but be careful, less scrupulous tour operators will seek to take advantage and one poor soul is now serving 25 years in a high security jail.

More information can be found at www.SafeDrugMules.com

 

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