Flying Low Airways™ Launches

At long last businesswoman Francesca Bertenini has launched her much vaunted  Flying Low Airways (FLA).

“The financial model is simple, the lower you fly the less mileage the planes put in,” she told reporters on the company’s maiden trip from Naples to Marseilles. “And the passengers get to see so much more. They’ll want to fly with us.”

At long last she was prepared to ask a few of questions she’s been shirking for months:

BS Travel Guide: But everyone knows you burn less fuel higher in the atmosphere.

FB: Bollocks.

BS Travel Guide: How are you going to deal with big things that get in the way when you fly low?

FB: It’s a bit like driving a car. You just signal, then it’s a bit of a swerve or flaps up.

It was noticeable the initial flight did not involve flying over mountains or tall buildings. That having been said, the trip was super smooth, helped by an 1811 Chateau d’Yguem.

The best part of the flight for kids will be the individual windshield wipers on the exterior of each window. Flying low means lots of ocean spray. The remote control for the wipers sits on the headrest of the passenger in front, so don’t press too hard of you might get a jolly good slapping.

Legroom is ample and the pedal feature is a great bonus. It makes you feel like you’re flying the plane, or cycling it, and it prevents anything like thrombosis setting in as it helps with blood circulation.

Bertenini promises by this time next year she’ll have the globe covered, including the challenging Tel Aviv to Beijing route, which takes in the lowest and highest points on earth.

“The Utah sand flats will be an amazing site, while Niagara, Vesuvius and Grand Canyon will feature heavily in North American and European flights.

BS Travel Guide: But what about the authorities in various countries who will oppose noise pollution, danger and so on.

FB: They’re just pusscats.

She winks knowingly.

Prices are competitive, with FLA believing strongly in bulk traffic. Bertinini’s already talking of five-million monthly passengers in the first month of service – July 2016, and that’s with only a quarter of planned routes in operation.

 

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