The 13th Dictator

As everyone knows there were of course 12 great dictators: Stalin and Hitler being the last of the great line. But now we can exclusively reveal there was a 13th, and you can follow in his footsteps in our new tour of Iceland.

Meet Dolph the Excessive.

Dolph was born in 1398 in a manger on the exposed west coast of Iceland. His mother died in childbirth and his father drank himself to death in grief at the loss of his only true love.

Miraculously Dolph survived, supposedly with the help of a pack of elvish wolves and a farmhand named Umsk.

Six years later, Dolph could hunt, shoot, fish and do anything to survive. Including fighting.

“This young lad, clad in sheepskin fought like a grown man,” wrote famous Icelandic historian of the time Sigourney Sigurdsson. “He could take on three adults with his bare hands and rip them to pieces.”

Dolph’s infamy grew. As he developed into a fearsome youth, women would lock away their daughters and men would cower in barns, afraid to be challenged.

Eventually Dolph marched into Rekjavik, the Icelandic capital, alone. Here his reputation was less impactful. Angered by drinkers at an inn for not knowing him, he stormed out and ran to the city square. Standing upon a barrel he declared:

You shall fall to your knees when you hear my name. You shall bow in supplication. I am Dolph.

With that, he plucked up two adolescents, rammed their heads together and left them for dead. Hushed whispers spread through the crowd as Dolph stared, his hands gripping his hips.

Dolph the Excessive was born.

The tyrant he became would accept nothing other that total respect. He quickly threw the mayor out of his home and took over his office too. Soon he gangpressed males into forming Iceland’s first army. Asw his power grew, he took on generals and aides but never fully trusted them.

The Night of the Purge was upon the country. A date never to be forgotten. June 11, 1423.

Fearing rebellion in the ranks, Dolph called for all his commanding officers and political supporters to gather in the city square. With every ounce of strength in his formidable body,. Dolph ran at the 400 men and thrust his trusty swords through one, then another, until not a man was left standing.

The square was renamed Blodsqvare that night.

Our tour, In the Footsteps of Dolph, begins outside Astrid’s Ice Cream Parlor and takes in all the landmarks associated with Dolph in Rekjavik and follows his path of destruction throughout the island country.

www.dolphsbloodbath.co.icy for details.

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